Alternatively, the heat of 15 degrees above zero is a little oppressive. Gawd, make up your mind, Chicago - is this winter or is this WINTER? This whole not having to calculate how many minutes away from death I am the second I step outside is frankly a little dull.

Because the only thing more exciting than going to the grocery store on the corner one block away is going to the grocery store on the corner one block away and being able to legitimately ask, "Will I die doing this?"