Fare Fire Sale

Ok, there is a flight from Chicago to Austin on sale at AA.com right now for ONE HUNDRED AND SEVEN DOLLARS AND I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING.

Also from Chicago to El Paso for $167! I had to refresh the web page just to make sure I wasn't going crazy like that time JetBlue was selling fares for $.99 cents or whatever and it turned out to be a computer glitch but they didn't catch it until about a gazillion and a half people bought tickets.

Being meticulous

Like anyone else, I don't necessarily look forward to Mondays. But because I like a lot of structure and sometimes feel out-of-sorts on weekends because of the lack thereof, I usually welcome the arrival of a new week with relative eagerness - or in this week's case - relief.

I need to get the past week behind me immediately. I felt uneasy and strange all week - yes, partially because of the outcome of the election - but mostly, I think, because it was my first election as a real adult and I only absorbed its enormity for the first time very recently. And to be honest, it - and my participation in it - made me uncomfortable. Icky. It left me wishing I could be oblivious, you know, bury my head in the proverbial sand and not have to acknowledge that ok, maybe we really are in the middle of a global economic crisis, a climate crisis, hold a shaky geo-political position, [insert additional gloom and doom here] and maybe I really do have to think about it, talk about it, factor it in.

And not to diminish the terrifying clusterf*ck that is cold, hard reality, but it was also the first week of Daylight Savings Time and that always, always messes with me in a bad way. I didn't make it to the gym, couldn't focus at work, and otherwise was so out-of-sorts that I wasn't able to adhere to my other little obsessive compulsive disorders routines. Like I said, I take a great deal of comfort in being meticulous (Virgo) and when I can't manage to maintain my little habits for whatever reason - like putting on lotion right after I get out of the shower, for instance - it feels like the wheels might just fly off my life completely. Get a grip, lady, right?

Anyway, I'm thankful for a new week. And speaking of wheels falling off, don't even ask me about my car. Gawd.

Blue Spot

No, not the one on my wall. The one IN MY TELEVISION. My huge, 52-inch, flat-screen plasma television on which I watch THE FOOTBALL. The one I paid more for than I have ever paid for anything, ever, ever? Has a big blue spreading spot where underneauth - I think? - a bulb has gone out. Or bulbs or what. I don't know. Whatever it is, I know it's going to be expensive.

Eastern and SPECIFIC time

Hello, few but cherished readers. I miss you.

My work life is a little hectic right now with a bunch of business travel and deadlines -- when did I become such an adult, seriously? -- and I haven't had time to post.

NYC was great - sorry I missed you Traci - and I'm in HELLHOT South Carolina (I've either really lost my Texas edge living in the Great White North or it's completely ridiculously hot here) this week.

But listen, after this is all over, I think we should get an apartment together.

A warm embrace for chaos; my life and this entry are no exception

As I was flipping through Self magazine (not my usual cup of tea; too self-helpy) waiting for my highlight appointment yesterday (looks great; thanks for asking), I came across an article entitled "Embrace the Chaos," which discussed the mental health benefits for busy women of "just letting go" of certain things like a messy house or missed appointments or social engagements, etc.

This was an appealing suggestion to me because:

NYC July 17-21, Columbia SC August 4-6, Cleveland OH August 8-10, Minneapolis MN August 11-12, Louisville KY August ?-?, Minneapolis August ?-?, El Paso September 5-9, Columbia SC September 14-19, Dallas TX September 19-21, Cancun September 28-October 2, La Jolla CA October 12-17 + work deadlines + Junior League obligations / my poor neglected boyfriend x OCD's with apartment-cleanliness and gym attendance = omg how am I ever going to make time for Target's latest Botkier launch much less *maintain the illusion of sanity... then my brain exploded and I died. I never was good at math.

So I'm going to follow their advice: embrace the chaos, forgive myself for a **messy apartment, keep a carry-on bag packed with the essentials and pray for some Zen. Who, btw, do you pray to for Zen? Jesus? Or, like, Buddha?

(Observation: Zen is much easier to obtain at my parents house, which is surrounded by a protective bubble from my obligations a thousand miles away, after a full moon and a desert rainstorm. Unfortunately, Zen collected here will undoubtedly be washed away once I arrive at O'Hare later this evening.)

On a separate note, I bought these incredible Jeffrey Campbell tall black leather boots yesterday - so tall they almost (almost!) go over the knee. Perhaps Zen can be obtained through shopping?

*Coffee

** Obvs I will be employing a cleaning service

Matters of the Heart... Burn.

Want to hear about my decidedly un-glamorous problem? Of course you do. I have been experiencing icky, icky heartburn pretty consistently for the last three weeks or so. First of all, I am appalled whenever I suffer an ailment like this because I consider heartburn to be an old person's health issue and I am a young lithe 26. And second, I am very particular and am really kind of insulted when I experience certain indignities, like, I'm just too pretty to have heartburn, do math, or have to do something really icky like go to the Currency Exchange.

Obvs, it's either stress or diet-related (or both, I suppose, but I generally don't feel stressed) and tragically, the only thing I know I consume consistently on a daily basis is... coffee. And omg, I refuse to believe or accept that coffee might be the culprit. On the other hand, I've been so afraid to trigger the heartburn that instead of cutting the coffee I've stopped eating anything even remotely offensive (plain bagel with cream cheese? too risky) and have inadvertently dropped a few pounds. On the other hand, this isn't completely a bad thing because you can't be too rich or too skinny, right? On the other hand, I'm not one to ignore blatant health problems and I can't live the rest of my life popping Tums, right? How pedestrian.

Anyway, ew. Any advice?

Did you know the human head weighs eight pounds?

My friend Natalie over at Gluten Free Mommy is on the South Beach Diet.

I however, am on the food poisoning(?)/stomach bug diet. Which? At the risk of over-sharing, has to rank right up there with cutting off one of your limbs as one of the most unpleasant ways to lose eight pounds.

Ugh.

Two thoughts my addled mind can produce right now:

I'm in love with the Alice In Wonderland jewelry items from the Disney Couture line. Maybe its because I went as Alice for Halloween for several years as a child. Check them out on my Stylefeeder.

Milly gets this dreamy, distant look in her eyes and sometimes drools as she "kneads the biscuits" on me or various blankets/stuffed animals. I am thinking about video taping it and putting the whole thing to romantic music and posting it to YouTube. Thoughts?

Ideally I'd be drinking a Bellini, too

It is thundering and lightening. And snowing, people! At the same time. IMHO definetely a sign of the apocalypse.

And while I do look cute today, I'm certainly not wearing my primo choice of apocalypse outfits. If I had known about this while getting dressed this morning, I would have worn a black Chanel shift dress, my leopard-print peep-toe heels, and red lipstick. And I would have tried a little harder with my eyeliner too.

Oh, and I'd be in a suite at the Drake with my boyfriend and the cast of "Firefly."

Endless Winter Haiku

Six inches of snow
Glass of wine before dinner
Sushi Mike solves all

I Heart Jim Cramer

I may not work in financial PR anymore, but my fascination with Jim Cramer still endures.

Check out this humorous post on Gawker regarding his most recent attempt to single-handedly save the United States economy: http://gawker.com/368610/investors-ignore-jim-cramer-suffer-consequences.

(edit: I hope he can save it, because GEEZ.)

Forbidden!

I was just on JCrew.com making a wish lish of things I can't afford when I got the following error message:

"Forbidden (403). You have requested data that the server has decided not to provide to you. Your request was understood and denied."

Decided not to provide to me? Understood and denied? It's the "understood" part that freaks me out a little. It's like the Internet knows I shouldn't be buying absolutely gorgeous $250 jackets online, it knows!

Winter of my Discontent

It seems ironic that I should begin my very first blog entry on my brand-new blog with talking about the searing hate hate hate that I have for this godforsaken winter season when I’m supposed to be blogging about stuff I like.

But with the –20 degree wind-chill and the virtually impassable river of ice that is the city street in front of my house, winter is kind of top-of-mind right now, so whatevs. I’m going to write about it anyway.

Chicago cannot catch a break. First, the snow falls in drifts. Then the temperature eases up and the snow melts to messy slush (arguably the least tolerable situation of all). Then the temperature falls again and the nasty slush freezes into sheets of ice, upon which the next snow falls soon thereafter. And that? Is a recipe for unpleasantness.

I think fondly back to the time when the worst winter of my life consisted of the one day it was too chilly to sunbathe at the pool at Scottish Rite Dormitory after class on the first day back of Winter effing semester. Me-of-old, I laugh at your naiveté. Actually... I cry, but I’m just trying to keep up appearances here. And speaking of appearances, me-of-old, enjoy that effortless bikini body while you still can.

Gawd, life’s a tragedy.